


Oceans

by idkhaylijah



Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: Angst, Based on Song Lyrics, Based on a Tumblr Post, Breakup, Eventual Smut, F/M, HEA, Heartbreak, Slow Burn, Smut, Vampire/Human, Witch - Freeform, vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 12:01:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18446141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkhaylijah/pseuds/idkhaylijah
Summary: Feels like there's oceansbetween you and meonce again





	1. Chapter 1

Y/N kept her head down, her face buried in her phone, as she walked through the French Quarter. She had avoided it for weeks, and when she bumped into an expensive suit she remembered exactly why.

"Y/N," her ex boyfriend sounded just as surprised as she was, his refined accent sending a shiver down her spine.

She glanced up at Elijah Mikaelson, humiliation burning her cheeks immediately. She had pictured running into him, but it had always gone differently in her head.

In her fantasies she was stronger, a woman who wouldn't waste her time crying over someone like him. She'd have a man on her arm, maybe even better looking than the Original (if that were possible). He'd ask her how she was and she'd smile brilliantly at him and brag about her new promotion, her hot fiancé, and he'd look crushed and beg for her to take him back.

Nothing at all like the moment playing out before her. This wasn't a fantasy, it was a nightmare.

"How are you?" He asked, concern in his voice as he took in her appearance. She had rushed out the door in yoga pants and her coat, her hair pulled back. Her face was bare, dark circles taking up residence under her Y/E/C eyes and she looked like she hadn't had a good meal in a while.

She tucked her hair behind her ear, a nervous tic she had, and swallowed. "Great," she said with a sad smile, but he wasn't convinced. She was a wreck.

Just like he had been since they parted ways.

He turned his lips up into what he had hoped was a smile. "You look good," he said. She always looked good to him.

She nodded and cleared her throat. "Yea, thanks. How are you?"

"I'm..." He was cut off by another voice behind him.

"Elijah?" Hayley stepped into view, looking impossibly gorgeous as she placed her arm in his, staking her claim. She held up a bag for him to see. "Got what we came for, let's go home?"

He nodded. Hayley didn't acknowledge her, instead leaning up and whispering in Elijah's ear. She disappeared when Elijah nodded in response to whatever she had said.

Y/N glanced away awkwardly, unable to watch their interaction. It felt like a knife twisting in her gut, her wounds opening up once more.

When she was sure Hayley was out of earshot, she let herself look at Elijah once more. He looked good. Like _really_ good, but then he always did. His dark eyes bore into hers, and she felt bare. In that moment she kicked into survival, holding onto the anger she had felt for dear life - anything that may help her build her walls back up so he couldn't break her again.

"I should go," Y/N said, her voice hard.

He looked sad. Or maybe it was pity? She couldn't tell, and it didn't matter either way. They weren't together anymore, his sorrow wasn't hers to carry and his pity wasn't welcome.

"Y/N, I'm sorry," he began but she cut him off.

"Save it Elijah," she snapped. "Pretty sure Hayley's waiting for you." She walked past him, her head held high. _Don't look back, don't look back,_ she repeated in her head. She kept her eyes forward knowing that if she turned to look at him what little walls she had would crumble, and Elijah had already taken enough of her heart to leave it unguarded.

*****

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Davina asked for the third time. "Taking away your feelings will mean changing your memories."

Y/N thought for a moment. Erasing her feelings about her life with her ex meant the good things, too.

And there had been a lot of good things with Elijah Mikaelson.

That was the problem though, wasn't it? The fact that he had broken her heart, in front of everyone, for Hayley made those good moments all the more painful.

With each memory of his whispered breath against her ear, his fingertips along her skin, with each memory of laughing with him until her sides hurt, or waking up curled in his arms she felt her heart shatter a little more.

Pretty soon there'd be nothing left to put back together.

Y/N tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and nodded her head. Her red rimmed eyes met Davina's. "Please," her voice cracked. "I can't look at him, Davina. It's like I can't breathe. I can't eat, I can't sleep...I..." she rubbed under her eye, the skin burning from being chapped. "When I see them together it's like I'm breaking all over again. I just want to stop hurting."

Davina placed her hand on her friends gently. "Okay," she handed her a cup with a thick grey liquid. "Drink this," she said offering it to her. "It will taste horrible, but it'll allow me to pull memories and make you forget the emotions attached to them."

Y/N turned her mouth down in disgust at the liquid. As she pressed the glass to her lips, Davina stopped her.

"This is going to hurt, Y/N."

Y/N glanced at the liquid once more before putting on a brave face. "Bottoms up," she held the glass up in a 'cheers' gesture before chugging its contents. She winced at the taste, forcing herself to keep it down before the room went dizzy and her world went black.

*****

When she came to, Davina stood above her, chanting. Her mind felt foggy, but other than that she felt fine.

 _That didn't hurt as bad as she said it would_ , Y/N thought.

"Good, you're awake. Let's begin," Davina said, pressing her fingertips to Y/N's temple.

*****

_"Elijah?" Y/N stood in the crowded ballroom, humiliation burning her cheeks._

_He said nothing as Hayley approached his side, looping her arm in his, her mouth pressed into a grim line._

_"Tell the girl the truth, Elijah," Tristan de Martel, taunted._

_Elijah kept his eyes on Y/N's, the familiar deep brown that usually felt like home going cold and cracking her chest wide open, exposing her. He tightened his jaw, and turned his cold stare to the leader of The Strix. "That's enough, Tristan."_

_"No," Y/N spoke, her voice sounding leagues stronger than she felt. She was sure her knees would buckle at any moment, but she needed to hear the words from his mouth. "Is it true?"_

_Hayley slid her hand into Elijah's and squeezed gently, the intimate gesture not lost on Y/N._

_Y/N nodded and bit the inside of her cheek. She began to walk towards the exit, and as she passed Elijah he placed his arm around Hayley's waist. "Forgive me," he said quietly._

_She shook her head. "Screw you, Elijah." She slammed her shoulder into his on her way out, grateful that the sobs didn't come until she was safely tucked away in a cab._

*****

Y/N shouted, holding onto her head in pain.

"That's good," Davina encouraged over her screams. "Keep going, you felt nothing."

And just like that it was gone.

Davina handed her a cup of water, and Y/N sat back, taking a sip gratefully. "We have to keep going," Davina said.

*****

_"How are you a thousand years old and you've never seen this movie?" Y/N shouted incredulously. She was laying on the couch, her legs draped across her boyfriends lap with a bowl of popcorn in hand._

_Elijah laughed. "Because, I enjoy real cinema," he explained._

_She scoffed at him, throwing a handful of popcorn at him from across the couch. "Excuse me? 'Jurassic Park' is a cinematic masterpiece. It's a classic!"_

_He rolled his eyes. "'On The Waterfront' is a classic. 'Rear Window', 'Gone with the Wind'..."_

_She laughed. "Elijah, 'Gone with the Wind' is a billion hours long, and there's not one dinosaur," she teased. She hit the play button, tossing the remote out of reach._

_"So that's how this is going to be?" He raised an eyebrow playfully._

_She shrugged. "Movie is on, nothing we can do about it now..." She yelped when he pulled her down to him by her legs, popcorn flying as he pinned her to the couch cushion. She flailed under him as he squeezed her hip, tickling her._

_"I can play dirty, too," he teased, scraping his teeth playfully along the delicate skin of her neck._

_She stopped wriggling, her laughter calming down. "Oh, I'm counting on it," she said before pressing her lips to his._

*****

"Please, make it stop!" Y/N was sure she couldn't handle anymore, convinced her head would burst. She and Davina had been at it for hours.

Her face was pale, her body drenched with sweat. Her chest was heaving and she felt blood drip down from her nostril.

Davina handed her a tissue. "We're almost there," she promised. "We have to keep going or this will all be for nothing."

Y/N nodded, taking a deep breath and shutting her eyes.

*****

_"You look perfect," Elijah stood breathless, holding his arm out._

_Y/N blushed, darting her eyes from his scrutinizing stare as she took his offered arm. "Thank you," she said sweetly. "You don't look so bad yourself..."_

_He said nothing, his eyes drinking her in as he led her to the dance floor._

_"Elijah," she chided._

_Still he didn't move his eyes from her. "What?" He whispered as he moved her expertly._

_"Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_"Like what?" He asked._

_She shook her head, biting her lip. She giggled as he spun her out. When he twirled her back he pulled her in tightly, their bodies flush against each other and faces only inches apart. The party around them faded away, the air charged. Y/N sucked in a breath, her heart pounding in her ears._

_Elijah inched his face closer, and when she could feel his warm breath on her skin he spoke softly. "I'm in love with you, Y/N" he confessed._

_Her Y/E/C eyes fluttered shut as he closed the distance between them, kissing her gently._

_When he pulled back she realized the song had changed to something upbeat. They stood in the middle of the floor, completely still._

_Y/N grinned, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you, too."_

_Elijah kissed her hard and when they parted they were both panting for air. She leaned in, pressing her lips to his ear. "Take me home?"_

*****

Y/N screamed in pain, begging for relief. Her head rested in Davina's lap. The witch cradled her face chanting once more.

They spent hours pouring through her memories, every moment with Elijah - from their very first encounter, was altered so Y/N was no longer in love.

Davina's incantations stopped and the pain subsided. Y/N sat up slowly, her brows furrowing in confusion. "Davina?"

Her friend smiled sadly at her. "How are you feeling?"

Y/N glanced around, they were in her apartment, but she had no memory of how they got there. "What happened?"

Davina said nothing for a moment. "Are you in love with Elijah?"

She thought for a moment, combing through her memories of her ex, but feeling strangely unattached. She shrugged. "I don't feel anything for him..."

*****

Y/N walked into the courtyard of the Mikaelson home and spotted Hayley. She waved, and a confused look crossed the hybrid's face. Y/N shrugged and made her way upstairs to Klaus' studio.

She knocked but didn't hear an answer, so she let herself in. She was sure she had left two of her sketchbooks here, so she began rifling through the art supplies.

"What are you doing here?" Hayley asked from the doorway. Her face was hard, her stare judgmental.

Y/N continued to search as she spoke. "I think I left some of my art supplies here and Klaus wouldn't answer my texts."

Hayley nodded, her arms crossed over her chest. "Well I'm sure we can send them to you if we find them."

Y/N shot Hayley a confused look. "It's fine, I'm already here, I don't mind looking. Besides, I really need them sooner rather than later."

Hayley sighed. "Y/N, Elijah will be home any minute now."

"Okay...." _What did she care if Elijah came home?_

"I think you should go."

Y/N caught a glimpse of the corner of her favorite sketchbook under a pile of papers. "Aha!" She pulled it out, holding it up in victory before noticing the second sketchbook underneath. "Bingo!"

Hayley urged her out the door. "Great, well thanks for stopping by."

Y/N clutched her books to her chest. "Ahhh, I get it. Alone time with Elijah," she winked. "Say no more, I won't intrude!"

Hayley stopped, watching her go in confusion and shock.

Y/N was almost through the courtyard when Elijah stepped through the entrance, stopping dead in his tracks. His face blanched upon seeing her, his deep brown eyes drowning in longing and sorrow.

"Hey Elijah," Y/N smiled.

Elijah said nothing for a moment, instead reveling in the feeling of his name on her lips. It had been too long since he had seen her, and she was even more beautiful than he cared to remember. His eyes raked over her figure, trailing up to her own. He was surprised to find hers clear and strong, completely unaffected. "Y/N," he whispered breathlessly.

She took a step closer to him. She was just out of his reach, and he knew all he had to do was reach out to touch her, the familiar feel of her skin under his fingertips would soothe the ache in his chest he had been suffering for weeks. He clenched his fists at his side, determined to keep his hands from reaching out to her.

"You okay?" She asked. "You look upset."

"How are you?" He asked, ignoring her own question. He wasn't okay. He hadn't been okay since they'd ended things, and lately he wasn't sure he'd ever be okay again.

She smiled at his question, causing his heart to ache. God, how he had missed her smile. "I'm good," she said. "I started a new art class, you know, just because I haven't painted in a while. I guess Klaus has been busy. But I needed some inspiration, and I feel like, really fired up right now, you know? Really inspired and excited to create and..." she trailed off excitedly. "Sorry," she laughed. "I'm rambling. I just swung by to grab some of my sketchbooks Klaus had offered to look over." She held the books up in her hand.

Elijah tried to smile through his pain, but it felt like his heart was breaking all over again.

"Anyway, I should go. Hayley's waiting for you upstairs," she winked suggestively before walking away.

He watched her retreating form, his heart leaving with her. He reminded himself that he wanted nothing more than for her to be happy, and she was.

It never occurred to him before that her happiness would cause him to feel so empty.

Hayley approached him carefully. "Elijah?"

He didn't turn, his eyes still glued to where Y/N had disappeared, willing her to walk through the door once more.

She placed her hand on his back gently. "Are you okay?"

He wished people would stop asking him that. He cleared his throat and tightened his jaw, smoothing out his suit jacket. When he turned he walked briskly past Hayley. "I want the Strix out of New Orleans," he growled, anger bubbling in his chest. "Tonight."

 


	2. Chapter 2

"You forget, I am still your only hope at finding Rebekah," Tristan de Martel choked out, using the only leverage he had to plead for his life.

Elijah used his grip on the vampire's neck to slide him further up the wall. "And you forget that my family will always be one step ahead of you." His phone began to ring and he let go, Tristan crumbling to a heap at his feet.

Elijah answered wordlessly, waiting for an update.

"We have Rebekah's body," Hayley panted from the other end. "She's safe, it's over Elijah."

Elijah tightened his jaw and nodded, hanging up without a word.

"It seems you have outlived your usefulness," he glanced at the mess of a man in front of him with distaste. He reached down and picked him up, forcing him up onto his feet.

"I can fix her!" Tristan shouted in desperation.

Elijah rolled his eyes. "This pathetic plead for your life is not a good look on you. Freya will take care of Rebekah." He had no doubt his older sister would come through, he didn't need the monster in front of him.

"Not Rebekah," Tristan spoke quickly, unsure of how much time he had. "The girl! Y/N!"

Elijah's grip tightened and his eyes turned dark. He bared his fangs as a warning. "If you touched one hair on her head," he growled.

Tristan laughed. "Poor Elijah, I didn't need to do a thing. I merely had to sit back and watch you destroy your own happiness."

The Original was done listening, and he didn't hesitate when he forced his hand into Tristan's chest, his fingers gripping his heart. Elijah wasn't sure what game Tristan was playing at, but he didn't want any part of it. He leaned his face in so Tristan could feel his breath at his ear. "You forget, dear Tristan, you live and die by my will," he growled.

Elijah gripped tightly and pulled his hand away, the vampire dropping lifeless to the floor.

Elijah stood above Tristan's corpse, a still heart in his hands. He glanced at the organ for a moment, and then at the empty cavity where it once resided.

Tristan had been a nuisance and he would not be missed, but his death did not bring Elijah peace. He opened his palm, letting the grotesque organ roll from his fingertips and hit the ground with a thud at his feet. Elijah removed the handkerchief from his pocket with his clean hand, wiping away any trace of violence from his skin.

He didn't bother cleaning up the mess, leaving it behind to be someone else's problem.

The Strix were gone. Tristan was dead. His sister was safe.

Y/N was safe.

 _She will never be safe as long as she is with you_ , a little voice whispered in his head, but he pushed it aside. A better man would let her go, but Elijah was not a better man, despite centuries of trying.

When push came to shove, at his core he was a monster.

He had tried letting her go, but these last few months had proven more difficult than he could have imagined. Elijah may not be a better man, but anything he was or was not was better with her. He needed her, craved her.

He loved her.

His feet carried him to her doorstep without thought, as if he were on autopilot. When he approached the door it swung up, Davina stepping out and closing it behind her.

"Elijah, what are you doing here?" She stopped in her tracks.

Elijah said nothing for a long moment, as he planted his feet and stood tall, knowing Y/N's friend, a witch of New Orleans, did not approve of their relationship. It didn't matter, her approval wasn't what he had come here for. "I need to speak to Y/N," he said. "I need to see her." He wasn't sure what Tristan was talking about, and while he knew he had not gone near Y/N (he had kept tabs after all), his last words made Elijah uneasy.

Davina glanced at the door behind her, and when she spoke her voice was hushed. "Elijah...you should know..." she swallowed nervously. "I cast a spell to help her move on."

Elijah stepped forward and Davina stood her ground, her head held high and the nervousness she displayed moments ago gone. She was brave, he'd give her that. "What did you do?"

"Only what she asked me to."

Elijah stepped backwards, his legs threatening to give way underneath him. Tristan wasn't lying.

"I tried to talk her out of it," she continued, her words fast. "But you broke her heart, and she couldn't take it anymore. She had to move on, Elijah."

"You erased her memories..." his own voice trailed off as his mind raced to process it.

Davina shook her head. "No, not exactly. She remembers everything. I imagine it's a lot like your humanity switch...it's all still there, the emotions attached to them aren't though. She doesn't love you anymore, Elijah. I'm sorry..."

"How do I fix it?" He growled.

She sighed, her eyes full or pity. "I don't know if it can be fixed."

"Every spell has a loophole," he argued.

"Spells like this are dangerous to tamper with. Besides what happens when she remembers it all? She goes back to the broken mess you left."

"No," Elijah shook his head. "No. I had to keep her safe," if he could just explain it to Y/N...

"Keep her safe? You're a Mikaelson, the best way you can keep her safe is to stay as far away from her as you can."

He had no argument for that, and he felt as if he had been punched in the gut.

"She's happy, Elijah. If you love her at all, you'll let her have that," she said before leaving him there on the front porch.

He stood there staring at Y/N's door, Davina's words playing in his head on a loop.

_She doesn't love you anymore._

He wasn't sure how long he had stood there, but he had been distracted and exhausted enough to not hear Y/N moving throughout the house, and when she swung open the front door he was surprised.

She looked at him, confusion playing on her features, a trash bag in hand. "Hey. What are you doing here?"

He shook his head, trying to form a coherent thought. "I needed to see you," he finally said.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Here I am..." she moved past him and around the side of the house, disposing of the bag in the garbage can.

Was she really that unaffected by him? Surely she must feel something.

"Anything else I can do for you?" She asked casually.

He shook his head, his mouth pressing into a thin line.

"Alright then, have a good night." She turned to head inside when he called out for her.

"Y/N..."

She faced him and waited, her deep Y/E/C eyes emotionless.

He moved before he could stop himself, his arms wrapping her in a tight embrace, breathing her in. For a fraction of a second everything stopped - the stress and worry from the last few weeks, the ache in his chest that only seemed to get worse with each passing day. The desperate longing he was so tired of keeping at bay.

For a split second he was home.

And then he realized she wasn't hugging him back. Her arms sat awkwardly at her sides, as though she didn't know what to do with them.

When she finally moved she patted his back in a friendly gesture. "You okay, buddy?" She asked.

_Buddy._

He released her, suddenly feeling like she was a stranger, the hole in his chest expanding, the ache turning into a relentless throbbing pain.

"Forgive me," he said.

"Yeah, of course. Listen, I got a lot to do, so I'm gonna go back inside. Say hi to Hayley for me," she smiled once more before leaving him on her porch utterly broken and alone.

*****

"Please, brother, for the love of God stop this incessant moping. Your melancholy mood has seeped into the walls and I fear we may have to leave New Orleans to rid ourselves of it," Klaus groaned.

Leave New Orleans, now there was a thought.

"She's just a girl, Elijah, you will find another."

Elijah shook his head. She wasn't "just a girl". She was everything. He didn't bother arguing though, he was in no mood to discuss her.

Klaus sighed. "Perhaps I should dagger you and leave you in a box for a century or two until this foolishness is over. You can keep our dear sister company."

Elijah considered it for a moment. Perhaps the dagger would be a relief. "We still need stuffing," Elijah said changing the subject and looking at the set table before him.

Hayley had insisted on having Thanksgiving dinner. Elijah hadn't been feeling thankful for much these days, but he couldn't argue with Hayley's request.

_"Hope should get to experience the holidays, too, and besides...it wouldn't kill us all to relax for a minute," she had said._

Klaus nodded. "I will pick up ingredients for the stuffing on the way back from the parade," he mumbled.

Domesticated Klaus would have amused Elijah any other day, but he ignored it, not having the energy or care to tease his brother.

"I take it you still won't join us? Hope would love to have her Uncle," Klaus put the invitation out there kindly.

Elijah shook his head, pouring a glass of bourbon. "Enjoy the parade," he mumbled before walking away.

He had passed the majority of the day trying to keep busy with preparing the Thanksgiving feast. It had been entirely too much food for just them, but it gave him something to do, which he was grateful for.

He glanced at the time, wondering what was taking Niklaus and the rest of his family so long, when he heard someone walk through the front door.

He stopped dead in his tracks, Y/N's familiar scent immediately wrapping around him. Her voice carried through the hall, and he found himself in front of her before he could process it.

"Hey Elijah," she greeted casually.

"What are you doing here?" He took in her appearance. She wore a deep teal dress, her neckline hugging the swells of her breasts. The fabric stopped halfway down her thighs, showing off her legs. He recognized it immediately.

It was the dress she had worn the first time he told her he loved her.

It had drove him crazy then, and it was definitely torture now as he remembered peeling it off her body. She had worn a pair of black lace panties with no bra the last time, and he wondered if he'd find the same thing underneath her skirt now.

She shrugged. "Klaus invited me," she handed him a bottle of wine.

Elijah groaned. "Of course he did," he muttered. He took the wine and went into the kitchen, listening to the click-clack of her high heels following behind him.

"Where is everyone?" She asked when they reached the kitchen.

He pulled two wine glasses from the cabinet, uncorking the wine and pouring one to hand to her. In his own glass he poured a generous amount, deciding he'd need the help if we was going to survive the evening. "Hayley and Niklaus took Hope to the Thanksgiving parade, but they should be back any moment. Freya went with them."

She nodded and he wondered briefly if she was as uncomfortable as he was.

 _That would require her to care at all_ , he reminded himself.

"That sounds like fun. How's it going with Hayley?" She asked.

It was the indifference in her voice that hurt the most. He narrowed his eyes at her. "Hayley and I are not together," he said, waiting for a reaction from her.

"Shame, always thought you two would make a nice couple. Plus she's incredibly gorgeous." She sipped her wine, her eyes shutting as she moaned softly. "I don't want to brag, but this wine is excellent."

Elijah took a large sip from his own glass.

Y/N stepped into his space, crowding him and he froze. She straightened his tie. "You were a little crooked," she said before patting his chest.

He reached up to press her hand to his chest, holding it still. His eyes searched hers, but he found nothing. He released her, relieved when she stepped away from him, yet missing her closeness immediately.

He remembered when not that long ago he would listen to her heartbeat pick up when he moved close to her, the blood pumping wildly through her veins when he kissed her, the way she blushed when he had looked at her that way.

Elijah listened to her heart now, beating at a regular pace. His own physically ached in his chest. What he wouldn't give for Niklaus to dagger him and put him out of his misery.

"I've just remembered we are missing a few last minute ingredients," Elijah said, chugging his wine and placing the glass roughly on the counter. He left the kitchen, and as he was putting on his coat he heard the tell tale sign of her heels.

"I'll go," she smiled sweetly, walking past him. "Text me what you need."

She reached the entrance way and was surprised to find she couldn't pass the doorway. It was as if she were stepping into a wall, but nothing was there.

Elijah pulled his eyebrows together as he watched Y/N slam into an invisible barrier. He moved to investigate but found he was trapped as well.

"What is this?" She asked, placing her hand along the barrier.

Elijah groaned. He knew a barrier spell when he saw one - they weren't going anywhere, at least not until the moon came up, maybe longer. "This," he stated "is my own personal hell."

 


	3. Chapter 3

Elijah sat in his study, trading out the wine for bourbon. The fire crackled before him.

Y/N knocked gently, and he shut his eyes in frustration. He didn't respond, but that didn't deter her from entering. It never had.

She leaned against the doorframe. "So did I do something to piss you off or something?" She didn't seem upset at the idea, merely bored.

Elijah sipped his bourbon, letting the caramel liquid burn down his throat. "What makes you say that?" He asked dryly.

She shrugged. "We've been trapped in your house for an hour now and you haven't said more than two words to me."

"What would you like me to say?"

Y/N sighed. "I don't know Elijah, but I'm bored out of my mind. And hungry. Can we at least eat? We've got an entire Thanksgiving feast ready to go..."

He rolled his eyes. "Do whatever you'd like," he said dismissively. He was in no mood for Thanksgiving.

*****

Four hours later and Elijah was beginning to grow hungry. The moon had come up, but the barrier remained. Perhaps they just had to wait until morning, he pondered as he once again checked for reception on his phone. They had no access to the outside world, his phone flashing 'no signal' mocking him.

He wandered downstairs to the kitchen in search of a blood bag. He carefully opened one, pouring it into a glass. He preferred straight from the vein, but it would do.

"Don't you hate the bags?" Y/N asked, stepping into the kitchen and popping herself up onto the island.

He wondered when she had ditched her heels. "I'll be fine," he mumbled. "You should sleep, I can make up Rebekah's room for you."

Y/N shook her head. "I napped for a bit after some turkey. Wide awake now," she explained. She held her wrist out to him.

"What are you doing?"

She raised her brows as if it were obvious. "Come on, Elijah, it's Thanksgiving. Everyone should get a feast and you've had nothing but a glass of bourbon all night."

It had been a bottle so far, but he didn't bother correcting her.

"Besides, it's not like you've never fed on me before," she added nonchalantly.

His jaw tightened, his temper clawing its way to the surface. Yes, he had fed on her numerous times. Blood sharing was as intimate of an act as any, and here she was tossing it in his face as a means to an end, like she was just anybody. He drank the blood he had poured for himself, his angry eyes staring her down the whole time.

She dropped her arm when he emptied his glass. "Suit yourself."

"Don't do that again," his voice was low.

She pulled her eyebrows together. "Do what?"

"Offer yourself up as a meal," he growled.

She rolled her eyes. "Calm down."

Elijah darted his tongue out, licking his lips before taking a deep breath. "This is calm, Y/N. Trust me, when I'm no longer calm, you will be the first to know."

"All I'm saying is I have no idea what's got your panties in a twist, but I'm bored Elijah. We obviously aren't going anywhere tonight, the least you can do is entertain me," she said suggestively.

Elijah bristled at her words, his reaction not lost on her.

She threw her arms up in defeat and hopped down from the counter, her bare feet padding over to him. "What now?" She was frustrated. "What in the world have I done to make you this angry with me?"

"Nothing," he snapped, turning away from her.

She laughed. "Just admit it," she taunted.

"What is it exactly you'd like me to say?" He turned on her, his voice raised.

She shrugged. "Elijah we have literally been stuck in this house all night, and you're avoiding me. Just admit you're angry with me and I'll leave you alone."

He shook his head in frustration, and stormed away from her, before turning on his heel to face her once more. "You're right, I'm angry!"

Y/N stepped back, surprised she was able to make him snap. She had known he was mad, but in all the years she had known him he had never raised his voice at her like that. It startled her for a moment, and then she realized her only form of entertainment (pushing his buttons) was gone.

"I'm furious," he continued, everything he had been holding in came pouring out, and he wasn't sure it could be reeled back in. "After everything we had together, you just turn it off?" He shouted.

"Is that what this is about?" She shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you," she said. She wanted to feel sorry, she knew she should, but she felt nothing.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Just tell me why," he breathed.

"Elijah, you dumped me for Hayley," she stated matter of factly.

He cringed at that, his eyes shutting, and she quickly followed her statement.

"I'm not mad," she explained. "I literally don't care. It's fine. I'm merely pointing out that you're mad at me for a mess _you_ made. Seems a little ridiculous."

"I did what I had to do!"

"Oh come on," she laughed. "You had to do Hayley? I mean she's hot, but..."

He cut her off quickly. "Stop doing that," he growled. "I would never betray you like that. You were a target, and the Strix had you marked. I just let you believe your own conclusions so you'd walk away unharmed. If Tristan had known I still loved you, you wouldn't be here right now."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay, well I don't see why you're upset then. I walked away like you wanted, I'm safe, everyone's happy."

He felt like he was talking to a brick wall. Everyone was happy? He was the most miserable he had been in his entire existence. "I never wanted you to walk away from me, Y/N, I wanted you safe. But you did walk, didn't you? You left without a single doubt in your mind. I gave you my word that I would love you, always and forever, and you assumed I was capable of the very worst."

She groaned. "Elijah, it doesn't matter now..."

"No, I guess nothing matters to you..."

He stormed off again, but she followed without thought, suddenly wanting to argue. "Don't assume I don't have feelings just because I don't have feelings for _you_..."

He rounded on her then. "I have felt _everything_ for you Y/N. Over our years together I have been angry with you, hurt by you, confused by you, but through all of it I have never not been in love with you. That never changed. Even now, it remains. But you...you just erased all of it, like this," he gestured between them "was nothing."

She shifted on her feet awkwardly, unsure what to do. Logically she knew she had loved him at some point. She must have been happy if she had spent so long with him, but try as she might when she dug deeper through her memories she found nothing but moments. It was like she was watching someone else's life play out before her while she watched from the sidelines, completely unattached.

Elijah stepped towards her then, his words calm and controlled once more. "I want you to tell me you feel something...anything," he begged.

What she felt wasn't what he was looking for, because all she could muster was pity for this broken man in front of her. She wished he could feel nothing, too, because at least then he could move on like she had. She shook her head apologetically.

He moved closer, his cologne invading her senses. She recognized it, but the usual comfort it had brought with it didn't come. He reached out gently, his fingertips grazing her cheek. "Do you feel this?" He whispered.

She nodded.

"Good," his voice was low and soft, as if he were afraid to scare her away. "What about this?" His fingers traced from her cheek to her neck, and he leaned in, kissing the corner of her mouth tentatively.

She shivered, her body reacting to him automatically. "Yes," she breathed, the air becoming thick.

He rested his forehead against hers. He knew it changed nothing for them. When this stolen moment was over, he'd continue to love her desperately, and his heart would be crushed while she continued to drift further and further away, unattached.

But in that moment he felt as if he could finally breathe. The feel of her under his touch like a salve to his wounds. The pain in his heart subsided, and he was too selfish, too desperate for relief to stop himself.

He pulled her roughly into him so she felt his desire against her, and ran his hand down her back and over the curve of her backside. "And this?"

Her lips parted and she let out a soft moan.

She hadn't remembered the way she had loved him, but her body definitely remembered the way he felt and the things he could make hers feel.

They shared a breath between them, and Elijah moved his hand from her back to her hip, his thumb digging in.

He bunched up the fabric of her skirt until his hand slid underneath. He groaned when he traced the edge of her panties. He cupped her sex, and she gasped. "Do you feel this?" He whispered against her lips and slid her panties aside, teasing her folds.

She cried out, and her breathing quickened.

He made quick work of his belt, hitching her leg up as they clumsily shifted back into the wall. He pushed into her, his dark eyes never leaving hers, raw with emotion.

He pressed his hand into the wall, caging her in. Their moans filled the room as they chased their release.

"I love you," he breathed.

She tightened her hold on him, her nails digging into his suit jacket. She moved to kiss him, but he pulled his face away as he continued to thrust. He kept his eyes on her, his lips just out of reach. He knew if he kissed her he wouldn't find what he was looking for and he wasn't sure he'd survive it.

"Do you feel that? I love you," he repeated.

She slammed her eyes shut, throwing her head back.

"I love you." Elijah knew she didn't remember her feelings, but he would spend the rest of his days making sure he she never doubted his feelings for her again.

When she cried out he followed her over the edge, whispering his confession into her skin until she came back down.

She said nothing when he released his hold on her. Their breathing slowed as they fixed their clothing, the shuffling loud and awkward in the deafening silence.

"Elijah," Y/N began.

He shook his head, his mouth opening and closing as he swallowed his words.

"I don't know what to say..."

 _'The sex was hot'_ sprang to the forefront of her mind but felt wildly inappropriate.

"Don't," he cut her off.

He didn't need to hear her tell him she didn't return his affections.

She nodded in understanding before leaving the room.

Elijah stood there, unsure of what exactly had just occurred.

As intimate as that moment had been, he felt like there were oceans between them now.

*****

Elijah tossed in his bed. He had been attempting to sleep to pass the time more quickly - he was confident that as soon as the sun was up the barrier spell would be broken, and they'd both be able to get some space.

Most days he didn't mind his supernatural hearing. He was used to it, and honestly had forgotten what it was like to hear as a human did. He used it to his advantage often, and had learned long ago to tune things out he wasn't listening for.

Most days it was an asset.

However, as he stared up into the ceiling listening to Y/N's heartbeat from across the house he cursed his heightened hearing.

He listened to her pace back and forth, her bare feet padding across carpet. She was in the library.

It shouldn't have surprised him, it had always been her favorite room.

He glanced at the clock. Four in the morning, still a few hours until daybreak - and hopefully they'd both be able to get space.

So why on earth was Y/N still wide awake?

He sighed as he sat up, pulling on a T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that hung low on his hips, when he heard her heartbeat change. It's pace quickened, and he listened closer. Her breathing was labored.

Then the smell hit him. It was faint, but unmistakable. The sweet scent of her blood.

He was in front of her in an instant. Y/N had dropped to her knees, her fists balled in her hair as she began to cry out.

"Y/N!?" Elijah dropped in front of her, his hands lifting her face. Her nose was bleeding and tears streamed down her cheek.

"Make it stop," she cried, her eyes full of terror.

He looked around, but the room was empty, nothing out of the ordinary. He bit into his wrist, his fangs piercing the skin, and held it up to her lips, urging her to drink.

She didn't hesitate, pulling his blood down in gulps until the pain subsided. She dropped back onto the floor, leaning against the bookshelves and tried to catch her breath.

"What happened?" Elijah asked.

She dabbed at the blood under her nose and he disappeared, reappearing just as quickly as he had gone, a handkerchief in hand. He pressed it above her upper lip gently.

"I don't know," she breathed, taking the handkerchief from his grasp.

He moved her hair out of her face and looked her over, taking inventory. She had broken into a sweat, mascara smudged under her eyes, but other than that there were no signs of anything physically wrong.

She nudged his hands away and sat up. "I'm fine now, thank you," she said, getting to her knees.

He stood and held his hand out to help her up, but her back arched once more as she began to cough. She heaved up the blood she had drank, her body rejecting it as the piercing pain in her head returned.

Elijah steadied her for a moment as his mind raced. When it seemed she had coughed all the blood up he picked her up and placed her gently on the couch before rushing to Freya's room with promises that he'd be right back. His sister had some healing herbs, and he dug frantically through her supplies.

Y/N cried out from the other room, and he knew she was in pain, but he wasn't sure how to stop it. His nerves were on edge, and he ripped through Freya's room, ignoring the damage he was leaving behind. He slammed the chest of drawers he had been searching, sending it flying across the room when the item he was looking for wasn't found.

He began searching through her bathroom for anything that may help, feeling useless. Fear gripped his heart when he noticed it was suddenly silent.

"Y/N?" He shouted as he rushed toward her.

He listened desperately, and when he noticed her faint heartbeat along with the soft rise and fall of her lungs he held onto it.

She had passed out from the pain.

"Y/N, wake up," he said kneeling beside her.

He checked his phone once more - still no signal. He couldn't hear the streets outside, which meant the barrier spell was still up. They were alone, and he felt helpless as he took in her bloodied dress and limp body.

"Wake up," he said again as he lifted her head. "Y/N, stay with me." He bit his wrist and pressed it to her lips, unsure of what else he could do for her, but she didn't drink.

His eyes burned and he listened to her heart, each beat reassuring him she was still alive. For the first time since he had been a human he prayed to a god he didn't believe in. When her breathing changed he lifted his eyes to her, hope and panic warring within.

She shot up, taking a lungful of air. "Elijah?" She cried.

He held her to his chest, his grip bruising as he held the back of her head to him, breathing her in and trying to calm his own heart down, matching his breaths to hers. "Y/N," he kissed her head. "I thought I lost you," he whispered.

Her hands fisted his shirt, holding on tightly, her body shaking as it all rushed back.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Elijah had insisted she drink more of his blood, despite her insisting she was fine. When they had both calmed down a bit Elijah helped her to his bathroom.

She was quiet, her eyes glancing everywhere but at him.

He turned the shower on and waited for the water to get hot, then faced Y/N, her eyes cast to the floor and her hands clasped in front of her. She looked like a small child for a moment, unsure and scared.

"I'll just wait outside," he offered politely.

She nodded and thanked him as he left the room. She glanced at the mirror, her makeup smudged around her eyes, her hair a wreck.

Her favorite dress was ruined, bloodstains cascading down the front, a stark contrast to the teal fabric.

Tears began to well up, and she turned the sink faucet on for more noise so she could cry in peace.

She knew exactly what had happened back in the library. She could only assume Davina had placed the barrier spell so she and Elijah would be forced into close quarters, making it easier for everything to be reversed.

It turned out all of her emotions flooding her at once was just as painful as getting them stripped away.

And the few weeks of contentment she had didn't erase her heartbreak at all. It only put it on pause.

The sheer force of it flooding her was almost too much for her to bear.

Her shoulders sagged and she held herself up, her knuckles paled as she gripped the edge of the sink for support. She took deep breaths until she calmed and straightened up.

She turned off the sink and reached behind her to unzip her dress.

"Of course," she muttered under her breath as she struggled with the clasp. She sighed and dropped her hands in defeat. She quickly ran her fingers through her hair and wiped under her eyes before cracking the bathroom door open.

Elijah sat up from the bed immediately.

"Umm, can you," she gestured to the zipper.

He swallowed and nodded. "Of course."

She stepped back to the mirror, and Elijah approached carefully. His eyes met hers in their reflection and she looked away quickly.

His hands moved her hair from her back gently, and she pulled it over her shoulder to give him a better access. He traced the outline from her shoulder blades down to where it dipped and the zipper rested.

He watched in the mirror as her skin flushed. He pulled at the zipper gently, trailing it down to the base of her spine, just above her backside.

She cleared her throat. "Thank you," she said softly.

"I'll get you something to change into," he offered.

She smiled softly and nodded, and he left her, shutting the door quietly behind him.

When she was sure he had gone, she removed the dress. She didn't bother saving it, there was far too much blood, so she tossed it in the trash.

She stepped into the familiar shower, letting the heat of the spray wash away the evening. All of her shower products were still lined up as if she had never left and her chest clenched. It had been months, and he hadn't had the heart to throw them away. It was as though he was waiting for her to come back.

Y/N reached for Elijah's soap, opening the cap and pulling the familiar scent. God, she had missed him. She washed with it, letting herself get lost in his world for a little while longer, wondering if he'd mind or even notice.

When she was clean she stepped out. Elijah had left one of his T-shirt's, a pair of boxer briefs (her usual borrowed sleep attire) and a towel while she had been showering. The gesture wasn't lost on her and she smiled sadly.

After she had dried off and dressed, she stepped out into the room to find Elijah pacing at the bottom of the bed. He stopped and turned, his eyes trained on her as she toweled off her hair.

She thanked him again, apparently the only thing she was capable of saying to him, when he stepped towards her, cupping her face in his hands.

Elijah pressed his forehead to hers and they shut their eyes, quiet and unsure. He listened as her heart beat louder, quicker. She was nervous.

"You're back," he whispered and she nodded, biting her bottom lip.

He pulled back to look at her, really look at her, and his eyes searched hers. This time he found flecks of warmth and familiarity in the soft Y/E/C - and he wanted to drown in them.

He kissed her tentatively, and when she responded he deepened the kiss. He was home. The kiss was slow and deep, as if they were savoring every second, when she pulled away, gasping. He noticed a tear slip out, rolling down the side of her face.

Elijah stepped back, releasing her. It was not tears of joy or relief, he recognized heartache when he saw it. He had spent every day catching it in his own reflection the last few months.

She pressed her hand to her lips, and looked away, sniffling as she tried to keep the sobs at bay.

"This changes nothing for you," he whispered.

Her eyes wouldn't meet his, and she didn't answer, though it wasn't a question as much as a statement.

"You aren't in love with me?" He asked, holding his breath in anticipation.

She shook her head quickly. "Elijah, no," she cried. "I will always love you..."

Elijah felt his eyes burn, and his own cheek was suddenly damp. He stood, waiting for her to continue for a long moment, the inevitable 'but'.

"You broke my heart," she finally said. "I don't ever want to feel like that again. I can't..."

He shook his head. "Y/N I did what I had to do to keep you safe, Tristan-"

She stopped him, placing her hand on his chest and he gripped it tightly, afraid that if he let go she'd be gone forever. "I know. And I understand, but we are supposed to be a team, Elijah."

"What would you have me do? I couldn't lose you," he argued.

She shut her eyes at that. "That's exactly what you did..."

"Y/N, would you have walked out that evening if I simply asked you to go?"

She shrugged, removing her hand from his chest and putting distance between them. "I don't know, it doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters! I had to get you out of there!"

"That wasn't your call to make!" She shouted back. "I'm not some damsel in distress who needs to be saved. You should have come to me, told me what was happening, anything but humiliate me in front of everyone and crush me. You broke me, Elijah!"

He bit the inside of his cheek, attempting to focus on any feeling but the devastation enveloping him in that moment.

"I just need some time," she whispered.

He nodded, and looked away. "Well I tried that, it didn't work out too well," he said before turning and leaving abruptly, needing to get out of the room before he broke down in front of her.

In a thousand years Elijah had experienced a lot of heartbreak. Eternity was a curse, endless pain and suffering, endless goodbyes.

He'd relive every single one of them over and over if it meant he didn't have to go through that one ever again.

*****

Y/N walked to the front door at daybreak. She had borrowed some of Rebekah's clothes, figuring she wouldn't mind. She'd return them another time.

She placed her hand along where the barrier had been and found nothing was stopping her. At least not physically. She hovered in the doorway a moment, her feet refusing to move.

She turned to find Elijah wearing one of his signature dark suits, polished and impeccable once more.

She smiled sadly at him and shrugged, as if to say she didn't know how to say goodbye. He nodded in understanding, because he couldn't say it either.

"This doesn't mean I don't love you," she said, her voice weak and his calm demeanor broke as he rushed toward her.

"I know," he said before crashing his lips into hers in one last kiss. He hugged her tightly to him, never wanting to let go. He didn't try to stop himself from crying, there was no use. "I love you, too," he whispered into her hair. "Always and forever." He kissed her head and released her, turning to go before he was forced to watch her walk out of his life.

 


	5. Epilogue

Elijah was surprised to find an envelope addressed to him, the handwriting extraordinarily familiar.

It had been almost a month since they had said goodbye. Niklaus has orchestrated the barrier spell, leveraging Davina into reversing a complicated spell so Y/N would get her emotions back.

He had said he was doing it for Elijah, but his motives were always selfish. When it came down to it, he had been tired of watching his older brother mope. Elijah's heartache had bored him.

It hadn't worked though, at least not in the way Elijah had hoped. Y/N remembered it all, but while time was the one thing he had, it was also dragging on excruciatingly slow.

It didn't help that Christmas was right around the corner.

Nothing like the holidays to remind someone they were alone.

"What's that?" Hayley asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

He stared at Y/N's handwriting, tracing his fingertips along his name and address. "It's from Y/N."

"Open it!" Hope shouted excitedly.

He smiled at his niece before patting her on the head.

"Hope, baby, let's give Uncle Elijah a moment. Come on," Hayley said, taking her hand and leading her towards the kitchen. "I think your Dad has some beignets for you."

"I miss Y/N," she said quietly, glancing up at her mom.

Hayley nodded and enticed her with the promise of going to visit her studio the next time they were out.

"I miss her too," Elijah said to himself.

He turned the envelope over in his fingers before heading to his study.

He opened the letter carefully and found an invitation inside with a bright blue post-it note attached to the front.

_Elijah,_

_I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me. I know these past few weeks haven't been easy for either of us, but I think it's what I needed._

_I hope to see you there..._

_xx Y/N_

The invitation was for a gallery opening, just three days before Christmas.

He smiled softly at the prospect of seeing her, his chest feeling lighter than it had in months as hope began to seep in.

*****

Y/N locked up as the last guests for the evening shuffled out. She turned back to the now empty showroom, shutting off the main lights so only the soft glow of the white Christmas lights in the windows illuminated the room.

She sighed and walked through the gallery, her heels echoing off the wooden floor. The show had been a success, she had sold the majority of her paintings. Klaus had made an appearance, and even he had been impressed with her talent.

She should have felt pride, but she only felt emptiness. She moved to the back section, her favorite series still hanging on the wall. They had been sold to an anonymous buyer, but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't sad to see them go.

Three paintings hung side by side, stolen moments from her life. His jaw line as his mouth pressed to her neck. His hand on her hip. Her fingertips tracing his lips. The paintings had been well received, and while she had worried they had been too private, she was applauded on her honesty, the way she had captured such raw emotion - the way she had created an intense love on a canvas. Abstract images of memories, fragments of her intimate time with Elijah.

Elijah, who hadn't shown.

Perhaps she had taken too much time.

"While your work deserves to be seen, I hope you did not point these particular pieces out to Niklaus," his voice startled her.

She turned, beaming. "These pieces were the hit of the evening, I think everyone who attended saw them," she blushed.

He walked past her, studying the paintings. "Then I'll have to compel everyone to forget they've seen any piece of you that belongs to me," he teased.

She scoffed. " _Belongs to you?_ " She raised an eyebrow in defiance.

He turned and faced her, his hand in his pocket, looking every bit calm and confident. "I'm referring to the paintings, of course." When she furrowed her brows he elaborated. "I bought them."

She laughed. _God, he had missed that._ "Of course you did," she chuckled.

He dropped the playful banter, his expression one of awe as he took her in. She looked good, beautiful as ever. She looked happy. "How are you?" He asked quietly.

She turned toward the paintings. "I'm good," she replied. "Mostly good."

"Mostly?"

She shrugged. "Well, I've been working hard," she gestured toward the showroom at her numerous pieces, then towards herself. "Finding myself and all that."

"And what did you find?"

Her eyes met his. "That I'm okay. That I can do this on my own."

He nodded, his jaw tightening. He wanted nothing more than her happiness, even if that meant a life that didn't include him.

"But I also found that when I think of something funny, or I've had a bad day, or a ridiculously successful gallery opening," she continued, taking a step towards him. "When I crawl into bed at the end of the night and when I wake up in the morning," another step. "I found I want to share those moments. With you."

She froze, waiting for his reply, but he said nothing.

"None of this means anything without you, Elijah, and I'm sorry I walked away from us. I love you, and I miss you," she paused, the silence deafening. "Please say something?"

He looked down and shook his head. For a moment her heart sank to her stomach, but when he looked back up his eyes were tearing up and he was smiling.

"Say it again," he whispered.

She smiled. "I love you, Elijah."

She barely got the words out before she was pulled into his arms and his mouth was on hers. He kissed her as though he needed her to breathe, and she clung to him.

When they parted, panting for air, Y/N couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. It was the most she had smiled in months.

He stared down at her, his eyes almost black, an endless dark abyss that she would forever lose herself in.

She blushed under his gaze.

"I love you, Y/N," he pecked her mouth softly, his thumb coming up to trace her bottom lip.

She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, leaning up on her tiptoes to brush her lips against his ear. "Elijah, take me home."

 


End file.
